Family Constellation Therapy in Johannesburg: What to Expect at Your First Session

In the way I approach Family Constellation Therapy, the first session always begins with the core family, also known as the family of origin.

This includes you, your birth mother, your birth father and all your siblings, whether they are alive or have passed.

I also include miscarriages, stillbirths and abortions in the first constellation because every life that formed part of the family system has a place in its belonging.

There are two ways in which we can constellate.

One-on-One Family Constellations

In a one-on-one session, I work with small material dolls that we use as representatives for each member of your family system.

You will select a representative for each family member and arrange them in the way you have always seen, experienced or perceived your family.

There is no right or wrong way to arrange your constellation. What matters is how you have experienced your place within the family and how you have experienced the relationships between its members.

Once the constellation has been arranged, we begin exploring the energy, role, resistance and participation of each person within the system.

In one-on-one work, I become the representative for the different family members by energetically connecting with each person brought into the constellation.

We then begin witnessing what emerges through these connections, the relationships between the different family members and the movements that may become possible within the system.

Group Family Constellations

In a group setting, we work with people rather than dolls. You will be invited to select someone from the circle to represent a member of your family.

Once you have selected your representatives, you will arrange them in the space according to the way you have seen, experienced or perceived your family system.

Again, there is no right or wrong way.

Once the constellation has been arranged, the representatives may begin moving, responding to one another or expressing themselves through statements.

Within the framework of Family Constellation Therapy, we explore these movements, expressions and interactions as a way of making visible the relationships, dynamics and experiences that may be present within the family system.

The representatives do not need to know the people they are representing, and their experiences are approached as part of the constellation process rather than as established facts about your family members.

What You May Experience During Your First Session

The first constellation can sometimes feel like the most unsettling or frightening. We are entering a space in which we do not necessarily know what may emerge.

We may have an understanding of our family history, the relationships we experienced and the roles we adopted within our family, but we do not always recognise how these experiences continue to influence our lives.

For this reason, I approach the work very gently and slowly. There is no need to rush the process.

Every movement, every word, every pull or push and every interaction between the representatives is given the opportunity to be witnessed.

We allow the constellation to unfold at a pace that respects the people involved and what they may be experiencing. Nothing needs to be forced.

The Importance of Belonging

One of the central principles of Family Constellation Therapy is belonging. Every member of the family system has a place.

This includes those who are alive, those who have passed and those whose lives may never have been openly acknowledged within the family.

Miscarriages, stillbirths and abortions are therefore included in the first constellation.

Their inclusion is not about blame, judgement or deciding what anyone should have done differently. It is about acknowledging that these experiences form part of the family's history and that they may carry emotional significance for those who remain.

Sometimes, what has not been spoken about within a family can be difficult to acknowledge. Sometimes, what has been excluded may need to be recognised.

And sometimes, simply allowing a place for what has happened can open the possibility of a different understanding of our family and our place within it.

The Way I Approach the Work

Family Constellation Therapy is deeply experiential and energetic work.

It is not about finding someone to blame. It is not about deciding who was right or wrong. And it is not about changing what has already happened.

It is about creating an opportunity to witness our family system, explore the relationships and dynamics within it and recognise how our experiences may have shaped and influenced us.

The work is approached with utmost honour, dignity, humility and respect.

There is no expectation that you must experience something specific, reveal something you are not ready to share or reach a particular outcome.

What emerges is explored gently, without treating every movement or statement as an unquestionable truth.

My intention is to create a space in which every person can be acknowledged, every experience can be approached with dignity and every member of the family can be given their rightful place in the story of belonging.

Because sometimes, before we can begin to understand our place in the world, we need to explore the place we have experienced within our own family.

We are all Pilgrims walking each other home, hand in hand, witnessing and honouring each other's Light.

Sessions are held in person in Northcliff, Johannesburg. See how the process unfolds, from first contact to integration, read what Family Constellation Therapy is, or get in touch.